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12 steps you can take to support survivors, inform communities, and transform society:
1) Be an ally- If someone discloses an assault to you, or if hear of a victimization, offer support to the best of your capacity and help the survivor obtain supportive services. 2) Be respectful- It is not your story to share. If there is a threat of further violence, or if you believe a survivor is in danger of harming themselves, seek services to protect and support the survivor and other potential victims. 3) Listen & Believe- Be present, without judgment. 4) Be patient- The process of surviving, disclosing, reporting, and healing is long and looks different for everyone. Allow the survivor to take their pace, to use their language, to be angry, to laugh, to express themselves organically. 5) Confront stigma- discard your preconceived notions of what a survivor does, says, and experiences following an assault. Post-assault response is as unique as each survivor. 6) Empower- Sexual assault is a crime that takes away an individual’s power, it is important not to compound this experience by putting pressure on a survivor to do things that he or she is not ready to, or putting responsibility on them asking what they did, or didn’t do. 7) Provide- Assure the survivor that professional help is available. If the survivor is willing to seek medical attention or report the assault, offer to accompany them wherever they need to go. 8) DON'T BE AFRAID TO MESS-UP- Many people who want to offer support remain frozen because they don’t want to "make things worse." It’s okay not to know what to do. Your friend needs to know you will be present, even if you need to be in the brokenness with her/him. A survivor often feels isolated and alone following an attack. She/he may feel people are looking at her/him differently, judging, blaming, or that she/he is seen as unworthy of assistance. Help her/him to see you are still there and she/he is not alone. Don’t be afraid to admit that you are scared, but you will do everything you can to help her/him through this process. 9) Seek knowledge- Become educated about the issue and share your knowledge with others. Learn the facts so you can counter the stigma. 10) Volunteer- Offer your time, resources, and efforts at local crisis centers such as the Portland Women’s Crisis Line (PWCL.org) or the Sexual Assault Resource Center (SARCoregon.org). 11) Promote- Support legislative efforts that promote healthy sexual conduct and sexual violence prevention. 12) Understand- Sexual violence feeds off many other forms of prejudice - including sexism, racism, and homophobia. No one if free when others are oppressed. |
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